🎥 Officer Downe (2016)
This regrettable piece of art is based off of a graphic novel with the same name. As the trailer makes it abundantly clear, it is about a zombified “supercop” who delivers his own brand of “justice” in a crime infested city. In other words, every superhero ever.
Terrance Downe is an LAPD cop who has a secret behind his effectiveness. Described as a kamikaze, a mental, a freak and also a frankenstein’s monster, he has a knack for boldly running into any active crime scene, guns blazing and mowing down all fugitives who resist arrest. He is able to do so because of his ability to come “back” from the dead, regardless of the wounds on his physical self. This ability is powered by an army of disabled civilians who voluntarily contribute their mental telekinesis powers and channel it through some super sci-fi equipment housed in a secret facility under the LAPD HQ. In addition to this we’re also subjected to graphic demonstrations of his completely unrelated skill of cunnilingus.
Downe’s primary opposition manifests as the “Fortune 500”, a masked trio of crime lords who engage in all kinds of debauchery while conducting their business. Since Downe is the only “supercop” the department has, it also employs the usual kind of policemen to support him. Within the screenplay, the world is slowly revealed to us from the perspective of rookie officer Gable, who is tasked with babysitting and recovering Downe’s corpse after every encounter. As Gable slowly discovers the mechanism powering Downe’s ability, he is conflicted with the idea of having to support the zombification of policeman. After a particularly severe encounter, a competent thug steals Downe’s half-dead corpse and takes it to a prison for further revenge. Being unable to recover the corpse, Gable is very worried and tries to convince the entire troupe of healers to remotely resurrect Downe’s body. This is a challenging undertaking that is ultimately successful albeit at the loss of a few of the civilians in wheelchairs. Downe miraculously recovers and leaves the entire prison compound in a mess of blood and gore. He returns to the HQ and apologizes to the wheelchair humans and resumes his daily activities as a brutal murdering psychopath zombie cop.
There are so many things wrong with the movie, I don’t even know where to begin. The screenplay is a mish-mash of so many different ideas, each terribly undercooked and served without the slightest apprehension. The various subplots include Gable’s own mental conflict with having to support the zombification of police officers and the exploitation of disabled civilians in wheelchairs in the form of telekinesis “batteries”. There is also the slight conflict between Gable and his fellow officers which is resolved in an anticlimactic bar brawl and again has zero implications on the future of the plot. Then there is the ongoing feud between the hired mercenary called “Flash” and the Fortune 500, which is left completely unresolved after Flash disappears due having his eyes ripped out. Even the low level bosses such as Headcase Harry and Mother Supreme serve only to provide the venues for the various gory shootouts that are promised in the trailers. Finally, Downe’s vivid sexual habits serve the singular purpose of furthering his role as a prime male specimen, contributing little else to the plot. There is also a very heavy-handed homage to the mirror scene from Taxi Driver, which has no other apparent purpose.
Let’s face it, this is a movie that hopes to sell solely on the basis of guns and gore. While it captures the gory mess very effectively, there is no coherence to the gunfights. Most of the shots cut right when the guns are fired, killing any perceived sense of impact from the weapons. A few interesting POV shots are present, but on closer examination even they have shitty execution. There is no attempt at dodging incoming fire or other acrobatics during the gunplay. Downe is mostly just standing around, his arms in the air as he shoots at anything that moves. We see the camera having to do most of movement, so that there is at least some dynamic nature and motion to the action sequences. Even with these shaky camera effects, the gunfights are atrociously lame.
There are also “cartoon” effects employed when certain, presumably iconic characters and items appear on the screen. One would presume that the script does this to ensure recollection from the audience at a future point in time. However once the scene ends, most of them are gone for good. One is left scratching their head, as to why the movie went out of its way to highlight these things and then proceed to completely forget about them. This is a classic sign of something that sounds cool in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.
Most of the actors are incredibly stiff, sitting around like props instead of real humans. The dialogue is ratted out as though its being read off a teleprompter. This is especially true for the actors who play Gable, Downe and the chief of the LAPD. The lines themselves are often unrelated to the overarching plot and are blurted out for the sake of the moment.
Do not watch this even if you’re being paid to so. Graphic novel adaptations already have a hard time transitioning to the cinema. This movie isn’t doing the effort any favours.
Rating:
(Very Bad)